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Monster Hugger

This is the first monster episode. Some of my favorite shows have myth episodes and monster episodes. This was first illustrated in "The X-Files". Sometimes they had myth shows about the search for Mulder's sister and the abducting aliens for the truth is out there. Then there were the monster episodes that were all related but were the more practical, every day workings of the FBI's X-File team.

When I was in Theatre in High School, there was one guy involved, I'll call James, who played on the football team. This was unusual. Although I went to an all-boys Catholic prep school and the Theatre program was at the all-girlz' school next door. So I figured that guys like James and I were the obvious smart ones of the school. We quickly became friends. Now, James was a hugger. I, on the other hand, was not. James would hug me firmly but warmly. It was awkward. But he hugged everyone. Everyone! Everyone important to me in High School was girlz.

If I could learn to do this, I could hug girlz! So one day I asked him, "How do you hug people?" I know you are probably thinking, "Duh!" but it's hard. In a very Jesuit sort of way, he asked me back, "Do you hug your family?" "Hmmmm... No, I don't hug my family." I chimed. "Well, how can you expect to hug people you barely know if you can't hug your own family?" So, that ended our friendship. What a jerk. I'm kidding, but I set about to figure this one out.  
Hugging family is really harder than it seems.

When you are in Theatre, you can see the huggers and start to hug them first. They don't think it is weird. But they can tell a disingenuous hug from a real one, though. A real hug doesn't start with arms, there is no patting involved and there is no pretense. A real hug gives, but also receives. You can tell when the person feels charitable about their hug, they don't receive you. Same thing happens when you get a hug from someone who does it out of some social decorum.

My freshman year in college, I was in The Normal Heart where I played a very flamboyant gay boy with a southern accent. My family came to see it ... After the show, I hugged each and every one of them, possibly for the first time. All four brothers were there, and all four got hugs. I could feeeel it. "OMG, my brother is gay!" Awkward. But a real start for family hugging that has lasted even now.

But see? A hug is communication. It's touching. It's personal. It might actually be essential. I had a roommate in Clown College (no, that is not a typo), a good friend, that really spelled it out for me like a recipe. Here it is as I remember it.

  1. Get eye contact
  2. Approach slowly
  3. Receive openly
  4. Wrap arms around slowly and firmly
  5. Hold until you can feel the other's heartbeat
  6. Feel their warm, smell their smell
  7. Relax
  8. Take enough time to enjoy
A hug can be a battery recharger. The best hugs I ever got aside from ones from my wife, have been from straight men.
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