Skip to main content

Trying to smile


Armed with all my love ideas and research and trying to be practical, I set out to smile to the masses. I went to an indoor waterpark with my two daughters. Happiness was already bubbling inside. As I walk down the hall, I see my first victim. I am going to smile. Wait...teeth or no teeth? What am I saying with this smile? Hi? There is spinach in your teeth? I think you're cute? Well, the smile I managed was, well, saying, "I have gas."

Smiling is harder than you think. A smile reveals emotion, intention, personality. You have to be vulnerable to smile. We don't smile, in general. We do smile when we are embarrassed or when something is funny. Sometimes we smile to be ironic. I have the sarcastic smile given to me nearly daily. But smiling to show love is a delicate issue. People can smell bullshit. They know if you are being disingenuous. People are also skeptical of motivations. "What are you selling?"

So what do you do? You have to fake it until you make it. That's the practical or the practice of it. You have to keep working at it. Make it a habit. Make smiling your default "look". Some people who have great smiles do it naturally. You know who you are. But for people like me whose smile spreads out like a flattened box, and tends to look deranged, we must force it out.

But there is an easier way. You can be internally happy. Joy on the inside cannot contain itself. It wants to expand. Joy is contagious. But joy is even harder to come by than a good smile. But if you are faking it, you really have to be a method actor about it. Remember what it was like the last time you were joyous. What did it feel like? Was it like all your cares drained away? What was your heart doing? Was it racing or calm? How was your breathing? If you are going to BE joyous, you have to FEEL joyous.

When I feel joyous, I naturally smile and consequently smile naturally. I just have to remember to be awake to the notion of joy. I say "awake" because we have to live more consciously. I have a tendency to crawl inside my own brain and slosh around in my ideas and problems, all the while, life is happening around me. Living in the moment is the first step to joy. Joy is a step to smiling. Smiling physically projects positive energy to another person and a great way to love.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We don't always equate eating with love. Oh, many of us "love" eating, but how about preparing dinner for friends? There is nothing more lovely than to make a meal for someone. In my last post, my musing about love-only thoughts brought me to making breakfast. As a child, we take food for granted. "What are we having for dinner?" "Liver!" "Awwww, Mom! I eating at Larry's." Last night I attended a dinner party at my dear friends' house. We have gone to several of these 'wine-tasting' themed parties at their house. They are wonderful! With love on my mind, I saw this outing with new eyes. Two of the guests had brought martini makings. Molly and Tom had planned a unique recipe. Molly volunteered to alter the drink in any way that might be more pleasing-more alcohol, less, etc. Meanwhile, Tom was carefully threading candied ginger, a peeled slice of lime and a leaf of basil on a paper umbrella to garnish the drink. The two of
3 comments
Read more

Sometimes we just want to be heard

Genevieve was being a grump. She was tired. Well she should have been, it was bedtime. Bedtime is always a struggle. I don't think my own parents would disagree with that. With seven kids, bedtime must have been torturous. Well, getting the girls to bed sometimes involves screaming (us at them) and sometimes I just grab them by the hand and walk them upstairs and step them through the process. This was not one of the hand holding nights. After fighting to get them upstairs, immediately we hear Genevieve screaming and crying. She was hurt. So we quickly run up the stairs, "What happened?" we exclaim. Only screams and crying could come out. "WHAT HAPPENED?" we say a little louder, as if that could jolt the explanation out over the tears. I suddenly had a flash! It was a memory, a feeling. I still cannot tell whether it was a memory of my Dad or my Mom or a combination of both. Empathy. My voice got higher as my body got lower to the ground. At her level, I c
2 comments
Read more

GIVE PERMISSION

"PEOPLE REALLY PISS ME OFF!" Have you ever said/thought that? Some days it seems like the world is against us. But the truth of the matter is, the people in the world are not thinking about you much at all. That !@#$%^&*ing person that cut you off on freeway was just doing what they needed to do for themselves. The perception that the person was trying to maliciously scoot in front of you to cause you to slam on your brakes and threaten your life is no more true than the opposite of that. That is right. Both the worst truth and the best truth exist at the same time. Let me explain.Your experience of the truth happens entirely in your brain. You write a play, cast the characters, give them rich histories and endow them with emotions...in your mind. This happens with everything. Since you don't have all the facts, you fill in facts based on your experience, your instincts, your emotions. This is creative energy. Have you ever seen the test that looks like this: Aro
2 comments
Read more