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Trying to smile


Armed with all my love ideas and research and trying to be practical, I set out to smile to the masses. I went to an indoor waterpark with my two daughters. Happiness was already bubbling inside. As I walk down the hall, I see my first victim. I am going to smile. Wait...teeth or no teeth? What am I saying with this smile? Hi? There is spinach in your teeth? I think you're cute? Well, the smile I managed was, well, saying, "I have gas."

Smiling is harder than you think. A smile reveals emotion, intention, personality. You have to be vulnerable to smile. We don't smile, in general. We do smile when we are embarrassed or when something is funny. Sometimes we smile to be ironic. I have the sarcastic smile given to me nearly daily. But smiling to show love is a delicate issue. People can smell bullshit. They know if you are being disingenuous. People are also skeptical of motivations. "What are you selling?"

So what do you do? You have to fake it until you make it. That's the practical or the practice of it. You have to keep working at it. Make it a habit. Make smiling your default "look". Some people who have great smiles do it naturally. You know who you are. But for people like me whose smile spreads out like a flattened box, and tends to look deranged, we must force it out.

But there is an easier way. You can be internally happy. Joy on the inside cannot contain itself. It wants to expand. Joy is contagious. But joy is even harder to come by than a good smile. But if you are faking it, you really have to be a method actor about it. Remember what it was like the last time you were joyous. What did it feel like? Was it like all your cares drained away? What was your heart doing? Was it racing or calm? How was your breathing? If you are going to BE joyous, you have to FEEL joyous.

When I feel joyous, I naturally smile and consequently smile naturally. I just have to remember to be awake to the notion of joy. I say "awake" because we have to live more consciously. I have a tendency to crawl inside my own brain and slosh around in my ideas and problems, all the while, life is happening around me. Living in the moment is the first step to joy. Joy is a step to smiling. Smiling physically projects positive energy to another person and a great way to love.
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