Be a gift

Husbands, wives, dads, moms, girlfriends, boyfriends...you all have a role. When you are in a relationship with someone, you have a commitment and a responsibility to them. This is what we all hope for, long for in life. You want someone to share in your life and to be there for you, but you also long to be there for them as well.

Love is a funny thing.  I think that most people will say that they love their wives, husbands, etc., but love is not enough. It is not enough to say, "I love you." Although, that is very important. It is not enough that you pay for everything or that you clean up the house or that you take care of shuttling the kids around. It is not enough that you fix the oven or the washer or put gas in the car. Even if you sacrifice your own dreams to accommodate your family, it is nothing if you don't take care of yourself. In the simplest terms, your love to your spouse is a gift to them. They don't earn your love. It is not capital. It is a gift. You don't give it because you received it from them, but because it cannot be contained. It has to be expressed. But if you do not take care of yourself, your gift, then your love cannot reach its potential. It is sullied.

Say to your partner, "Hey I love you so much, I bought you this chocolate bar. I know you'll love it, because I ate half of it on the way here. Don't mind the spit on there, think of it as my kiss I left for you." You are the chocolate bar in this story. We do this all the time without realizing it. Sometimes the bite out of you is your shelved dreams that you still harbor. Sometimes it is an unhealthy habit, like drugs or alcohol. Something eating a way at you that is slowly ruining you can really ruin the love you think you have for someone else.

You need to take care of your emotional self, your physical self and your spiritual self. This trinity of persons are the ones that will express unparalleled love to everyone around you. You take care of yourself so you can hopefully stick around long enough to be a real influence. You stay healthy for when the emergencies come you can be strong. You shed your emotional baggage from the past, so you can be present in the present.

You have to make sacrifices in love, but you don't have to sacrifice yourself. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. You need to train and take care of yourself in order to be the hero in someone else's story. If you think of yourself as a gift to others that they don't have to earn or merit then maybe you will take care of that gift so it is something of real value.