Life is a matter of perspective. This is illustrated so beautifully in the TV show Downton Abbey, on PBS. For the two of you that have not seen this program (Mitt Romney, because it is on PBS and another guy), it is about aristocrats and their servants http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Downton_Abbey and you get to see both sides with their struggles and triumphs. Of course, they are very different. Another great cliché is that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Which simply means that we all have our own perspective and what it means to us is quite different.
Most of what we hate about others comes from two places: 1) They are too different from us and 2) They are too similar to us. Think of the last time someone "wronged" you. It is either that they acted in a way that was different than you or what you would want from them. Or, they acted exactly like you and you hate that about yourself.
My favorite act to talk about, because it is so universally despised, is when someone cuts you off on the expressway. This is so hateful isn't it? But really, that driver just acted in a way that we don't like or don't think they should. "Boy I wish I had a clunker, I would slam my car into that asshole and teach him a thing or two!" Just think of the irony of that statement. And we have all thought something similar to that once or twice. Or if you are a type-A-personality driver, you may have been mad that you didn't do it to them first. Perspective.
Oh the hubris of thinking that everyone should think and act as we do. This is what has driven man to burn people at the stake, enslave them or shun them. When people are at their lowest from a mistake, we slam the door in their face. I think of Les Miserables. A man steals out of desperation, a woman has a baby out of wedlock and they are the outcasts of society doomed to a life of misery for a mistake that happened in the blink of an eye. I know it is an Opera and a movie, but this happens daily in the world.
It is human nature to compartmentalize everything. This is black; this is white. The vegetables go in the top drawer, the fruits in the bottom. This man is good, and this one is evil. It makes me laugh to think of how incensed we get over police and racial profiling. Of course they profile. And yes, race is a big part of it. They work with a lot of data and you have to make sense of it all by throwing a lot of data out. This is how the brain works. You may remember that accident on the highway that you saw 2 years ago, every detail, but you don't remember one single car on the road 10 minutes ago; or a street sign, or a building or how fast you were going. We keep what is note worthy and prejudge everything. We look for patterns. We look for repetition. The sun comes up in the east and sets in the west. Ahhh, I feel so good about life. But when something breaks the pattern, we freak.
When I was acting (one million years ago), there was comfort in knowing where I was going to stand and what I was going to say. I knew the responses. I knew my entrances and exits. God help some if a light broke, or a prop was missing or a line was dropped. Boy would some people get pissed if you ad libbed a line. But life is improvisation.
The most useful life training I received in College wasn't a class or anything I paid for. Improvisation. A bunch of us got together on a regular basis and played games where anyone could say or do anything. The only rule, say "yes...and." If I say to you, "Why have you colored your hair purple?" you might say, "because purple is for royalty and today I feel like a Queen." You acknowledge that I spoke the truth and you offer something else for the other person to work with. We called it "Spontaneous Art."
Imagine a world of "yes, and."
Why "yes, and?" you ask. Because saying "no" stops the scene. It stops the forward momentum. "Why have you colored your hair purple?" "No, I didn't." Uh...end scene.
So this post is about wearing another's shoes. It is about allowing people to be and act differently than us. It is about saying, "yes" and offering something positive in return. And yes, we compartmentalize and prejudge everything...because it is human nature. But inside this human is a spirit. The spirit doesn't see separation. We are from the one, God, source of all creation. All of us. And this source is a creative, spontaneous, improvising God who never stops the scene with a "no", a denial or a second guess.
Because of the name of this blog, I have to say, that in order to accomplish these things, you might have to love. It is a love to look at another, recognize they are different and accept them for who they are and what they do. Saying "yes" is an act of Love. It is Love because it creates and move things forward. If we create, we are like the creator and the creator is Love. Maybe I will rename this blog, Spontaneous Love. hmmmm
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