Is Family Different?

Is family different? I think for most of us, the answer is yes. You would do anything for your family, your kids, you spouse. Most of us would agree that we would give our lives up to save a family member. We might not make that commitment to a stranger or maybe even a a friend, but family...

We treat family different. If I were to tell you that you had a brother or sister that you did not know about, you would be shocked, then excited. When you met them, you would stare at them and then embrace them. That is family. You would instantly bond. Even at the cousin level. "You're my cousin? We're related?" You instantly feel connected. What connects you though? Is it blood? Is it your spirit?

Sometimes a family member does something heinous. Maybe it is to themselves or maybe to you or another family member. And that hurts even more than if it were from a stranger. But we can be more honest with family. You can tell your brother that you think he was being a jerk. At least we could when we were kids. As adults, that gets harder. My kids have no problem yelling, "STOP IT!" whenever the other is doing something unsavory. They are much more polite to others on the playground.

Family is different and it should be different. You have a bond with these people that you have with none of the other billions of people on this planet. You go out of your way to keep that bond. Would you knowingly disown your own child? Your brother or sister? Can you imagine that? Try to look at your own kid and say to yourself, "I never want to see or talk to you ever again." What does a person have to do or think about to ever do that? I don't know, but it happens.

Nobody can piss us off more than a family member. This is true. This is because our expectations for them are higher than others. You don't even realize the intense bond and love you have for them until they disappoint you, sometimes. But you forgive them. You continually allow yourself the vulnerability of loving them for no other reason then "family."

So to answer the question of what is that connection of family, you have to look at some other evidence. The in-laws. Somebody gets married and now you have MORE family. Now for all you want to say about he in-laws and how they don't fit in with your kind of family. "How could she ever marry a man like him?" or "Her parents are nuts!" You see them at a family event and feel the connection.

However feeble a connection is, it is a connection. Love really just looks for a reason. Love wants to connect or attract. If you have turned your back on a family member, you have broken the connection. A broken connection to Love is a wound that never heals. That wound can get infected and as a result, you lose the ability to love. You can say that you love your family and you are religious, but if you turn your back on a family member, you are unclear on the concept of these things.

Family can be adopted. Even outside of the legal system. A neighbor, a friend, a coworker can be family. Family really only exists in your mind. The connection to a long lost relative is created at the time you find them. It is not blood, or genes or skin color. It is your mind-set. If you think someone is family, they're family and you will treat them as such. If your loving connections are not infected or broken and you have a clear idea about how you love your own family, I invite you to take one day or one hour of one day and look at everyone you meet as if they were a member of your family. Let me know what you find out.